STUDY: Hungry Daughters of Starving Mothers

TWO SCENES/OPENING SEQUENCE:

SCENE ONE (483)

OPENING SCENE: SOMETHING FAMILIAR BUT YET STRANGE. Jenny is on a date. She’s bored by the date because the guy is boring. She orders overpriced kale, but she can’t eat. She’s reading the guy’s thoughts. The thoughts range from violently sexual to outright murder. Jenny is shocked, but seems to be OK with it as well.

SCENE TWO (589)

TWIST: Finally they leave. They get in the guy’s alley. Jenny is sick, she asks the guy to let him out in the alleyway to vomit. She gets out and does, the guy comes looking for her. He wants to kill her here. TWIST: She pounces on him and sucks out his bad thoughts as food. He falls down unconscious. She shape-shifts into him and drives the Tesla away. Somewhere she vomits his bad thoughts into a jar. Puts the jar in her purse. She parks it somewhere and go home.

Purpose - We want to bring the reader in and show a bit of the strange, but not explain it. Dramatized. Show the world. In Pop Squad, the cops are going down their list, observing, checking things off. Trying to get the picture. Interviewing the women. The kids are running around. The partner leaves. And then he kills them outright. This is normal. It’s this “normality” that’s shocking.

SCENE THREE (922)

CONTEXT/ SETTING THE SCENE/ SHOWING THE WORLD: Aiko is waiting for her. She’s making rice balls or moshi. They talk about he dating scene and how much it sucks. Aiko tells her to stop looking on Tindr. That’s where the psychopaths are. Little does she know that’s exactly what Jenny wants. Aiko brings up the fact that Jenny’s mom called and wants her to move back with her to Flushing. Jenny complains about this. Says all her mom’s friends mahjongg friends are probably dead and she’s lonely. She’s not interested in moving back.

Purpose - We show more of the world. Contrast the protagonist’s life with a dynamic character. In Pop Squad, it’s his wife. He’s rushing to her concert, he sees the fruits of her labor. He describes how ALL THIS (this world) can only be achieved by having immortality. Decades of practice. It’s unique to this world. Here, we have Aiko talking to Jenny and Jenny talking about the dating scene. It’s so we can see that this is her normal. She hunts. The opening scene was NOT the first time she’s done it. It’s unique however in the sense that something triggered. For Jenny, it’s a murderer. For the Pop Squad protagonist, he’s bothered by the dinosaur figure. And at the concert party, when they celebrate and give his wife the exact dinosaur figure it affects him at a deep level. He faints. So the opening scene is showing something the hero does on a consistent basis… but the second scene shows how that particular time is slightly different and it will trigger a series of events for the hero to go through.

In Pop Squad, we throw in one more scene (since it’s a novelette). It’s the guy taking the girl to the place where they inject her with the immortality serum. He’s not into it. She wants to take a break after the concert and just spend time resting with him. But it’s too late. He’s bothered now.

SCENE FOUR (420)

TELLING MONTAGE. She eats a bunch of men, but none of them fill her. She’s starting to go crazy. She sneaks in tastes of the murderer at times. She thinks she’ll eat anything. She stops answering the door when Aiko drops by. She’s afraid she’ll lose control and eat her.

Purpose - SHOW THE CHANGE. The first scene has had a great effect on the hero. The hero is bothered and can’t just go back to the way things was. So he’s going through the motions and working harder at what he’s always done… but it’s not enough. Life is just not the same anymore. The hero rejects the dynamic character. Aiko and the wife.

SCENE FIVE (1151)

Jenny goes back to visit her mom in Flushing. The place smells of hontashan cigarettes. She’s a hoarder. Newspapers and boxes. She tells Jenny she made noodles with her dad’s essence. Jenny reflects on all the ghosts in the apartment. All the men she has eaten and their souls trapped in jars. And how when she grew up listening to them. Or how she read their thoughts just before her mom ate them. Racist slurs, dirty thoughts, etc. Jenny eats the noodles and feels sick. Her mom is quick to notice that she has eaten a murderer. She reminds Jenny of their eating philosophy. Stick with low life criminals. Don’t go above. There are tons here in Chinatown Flushing. It’s so easy. Easy pickings. Why stress yourself after the big prey? Jenny sees this life as death. She realizes she doesn’t want to do that. She tells her mom that. She goes on Tindr to find someone to date, she sees this delicious woman who’s full of bad thoughts: Seo-Yun. She pings her. She replies.

SCENE SIX (1202)

They are at a Japanese restaurant. Jenny can’t stop looking at all the dirty thoughts coming out of her. They’re all over. She can’t help herself and just feels hungry. She talks but Jenny isn’t listening. She’s telling her about how this place started out as a stall in Japan and now it’s expanded to New York. And then she breaks it to her. She knows. She asks about Aiko. HOw does she know about Aiko? She asks about her mom and tells her that her mom who eats for survival is the wrong way to live. Why would you want to eat just for survival? I have a eating group. We eat for pleasure. Join us.

SCENE SEVEN (331)

TELLING MONTAGE: She’s eating better than ever. Life is good. She’s moving out when she bumps into Aiko. She’s trying to drop Aiko. She wonders what she did wrong. Why they’re not friends anymore. She lies to her.

SCENE EIGHT (1101)

CLIMAX: Jenny and Seo-Yun are getting ready for a big dinner party. She’s happy because SEo-Yun let her present some of her recipes. It’s a big deal. Jenny is wandering around to get something when she bumps into one of the caterers. She recognizes him. It’s Aiko’s partner. She realizes Aiko is here. She goes back up to the bedroom. Seo-Yun is feasting on Aiko. Aiko looks like she’s drained. Jenny is angry at first. But then she closes the door and tries to be flirty, but Seo-Yun sees through her. So Jenny is about to be attacked, but then Aiko gets up and smashes a lamp on her head. Then Jenny pounces on her and sucks up all her bad thoughts. It’s what she imagines how her mom sucked up her dad. She’s flailing and it’s crazy. Finally she’s dead. Somebody walks into the bedroom and asks if she’s ready. She’s confused for a moment. Then she looks in the mirror and realizes that she has shape-shifted to Seo-Yun. She goes down and puts on a show. She’s worried and freaked out. But everything goes OK.

SCENE NINE (351)

RESOLUTION: She’s rummaging through the entire house to find jars, pots, pans, containers. Anything that she vomit into. She’s puking all the bad thoughts so she can wade through it and look for Aiko’s thoughts. She wants to return them to her and bring her back. She’s determined to. THE END.