Short Story Dissection, Part 3.1

The following analyses is a further continuation of “Story Dissection, Part 2” back in late December. They were done between January 7, 2024 and January 24, 2024. One of my biggests lessons from watching MRK work (and asking her questions) in the short story cohort is realizing that after coming up with the MECH, and the bare minimum of two characters and one location… the PROG comes down to just knowing consciously or subconsciously A LOT of plot structures already from consuming stories intentionally. I hope this deeper dive will start locking in some <4000 word short story plot structures.

Because it’s been a struggle to get time to do this, I’m breaking up the dissection to two or more parts. This first part will include the five shortest stories.¹ In order of wordcount:

• Kritzer, Naomi. “Little Free Library.” Tor.com, 08 Apr. 2020, https://www.tor.com/2020/04/08/little-free-library-naomi-kritzer/
• Wiswell, John. “Open House on Haunted Hill.” Diabolical Plots, 15 Jun. 2020, https://www.diabolicalplots.com/dp-fiction-64a-open-house-on-haunted-hill-by-john-wiswell/
• Pinsker, Sarah. “The Court Magician.” Lightspeed, Jan. 2018, https://lightspeedmagazine.com/fiction/the-court-magician/
• Kritzer, Naomi. “Cat Pictures Please.” Clarkesworld, Jan. 2015, https://clarkesworldmagazine.com/kritzer_01_15/
• Kassel, Mel. “Ten Deals with the Indigo Snake.” Lightspeed, Oct. 2018, http://lightspeedmagazine.com/fiction/ten-deals-with-the-indigo-snake/

And again, to help with the analysis, here are the acronym IDs I assigned to each one.

• Little Free Library - LFL
• Open House on Haunted Hill - OHHH
• The Court Magician - TCM
• Cat Pictures Please - CPP
• Ten Deals with the Indigo Snake - TDIS

Story Data Points

To start with, I broke the stories further down into wordcount, number of scenes, where I believe the midpoint is (what scene, wordcount, and approximate percentage), where the lowpoint is (scene, wordcount, and approximate percentage), and climax (unless it’s merged with the lowpoint due to the short length of these stories).

Based on my more detailed breakdown below, it’s clear the scenes before the MID are for establishing the MECH and dramatizing it at least once, if not twice. One for when it goes well, one for when it goes bad or wrong. And then the MID is where a more nuanced part of the MECH is revealed, or a decision is made that’s “point of no return”, stakes are raised, and it races to the LOW.

LFL - 7SC/2508 Words

• SC1/ Put up LFL, explain LFL, works as intended, then cleared out. Leaves note.
• SC2/ Starts getting strange gifts, delighted. Tells friends.
• SC3/ Asking for LoTR sequel. Eccentric weirdo right? Plays along.
• SC4/ Get leaf for RotK. MID Leaf is not from Earth. Leaves nonfiction book on defending castle.
• SC5/ Gold coin worth $100. WTF. Happy about book. Ask for more. Who are you? Fantastical note. Gets more gold coins for books.
• SC6/ Coins valued at $1245. What’s going on? Examines gifts closely. LOW Haven’t heard from the other. Tries to spy on LFL.
• SC7/ Final note. Lost. Gets egg.

The MID is the turning point. This isn’t eccentric anymore. It’s out of this world. And then it kicks off into more military books for money. The LOW is being at the peak of doubt and confusion. The LFL vanishes at one point. END is brief. Lost the war, get an egg.

PLOT THREAD

1. Do something whimsical/fantastic that generates multiple interactions.
2. The interactions become odder and odder, until..
3. MID: It’s revealed who you’re actually communicating with (being from other world). They request a favor.
4. Prot does as requested, but is confused now. Tries to verify what’s really going on.
5. LOW/CMX: Being from other world leaves one last note and one last gift.

OHHH 3Sc/3015 words

• SC1/ 133 Poisonwood Avenue is a haunted house, vacant since 1989, needs an open house to work. Man & daughter shows up. Daughter has a locket, acts like dinosaur, thinks there are ghosts, wondering if it’s mom (133 Poisonwood closed the door to save on heating oil).
• SC2/ Only one BR upstairs, but two in basement. Dad is a skeptic podcaster. Ana about to tantrum. 133 Poisonwood plays ace: a secret room. *MID Realtor bewildered. They explore. Spinning wheel. Ana knocks it over and gets hurt. Locket falls through cracks. They leave. 133 tempted to trap them, but lets them go.
• SC3/ LOW Realtor and 133 Poisonwood dejected. But then dad comes back looking for the locket. Reveals a house killed his wife. House empathizes. EGP moment. 133 Poisonwood helps the dad find locket, but he leaves. House confused. Dad comes back and asks Ana to help him look for it. Dad tells Ana it’s not ghosts. Dad reconsiders the house.

The MID is one of them taking a risk to be open and vulnerable, but end up hurting the other. The LOW is the separation. The CMX/END is a reunion, return of the item, a second chance.

PLOT THREAD

1. Introduce two unlikely “romance” partners. Both hurt and vulnerable.
2. Introduce a meaninful ITEM that can be misplaced/lost creating an excuse for a reunion later.
3. Create a meet-cute. How will they first bump into each other?
4. MID Introduce an obstacle which forces one of the partners to take a risk and open up.
5. The opening up actually hurts the other partner and they separate. LOW The meaningful item is accidentally left.
6. The partner who left comes back. The hurt is reframed. The item is returned. CMX The reunion is a second chance.

TCM 4SC/3160 Words

• SC1/ The unknown POV is spying on the boy. They have a system in place to filter up talent. Sends palace guard to initiate a conversation.
• SC2/ The boy is tutored but still only in illusions. His hunger asks for real magic. Then the deal with the devil. MID Accepts it.
• SC3/ Does magic first time. Dramatize and describe in detail. Everyone is acting stone-faced around him. He wonders at the cost.
• SC4/ Time jump a decade. List out all the payments, the reward/result of each, the feelings of resentment, the attempt to get out of the deal, or trick it. LOW The voice tells us they’ve seen it all before, the descent into madness. CMX. The boy is asked to do one more trick. Loses pillow. Asks why. Voice talks to him. He leaves.

The MID is the deal with the devil. This sets the rest of the story in motion after laying out the groundwork. The LOW is the descent into madness, resentful of the cost. CMX is the final ask.

PLOT THREAD

1. Introduce the PROT in an environment where they are eager, hungry, ambitious to get out of it with a talent/skill. Tempt them with bait.
2. They’re in, but they’re impatient. They want more. Ramp up the temptation. The deal with the devil is made. MID
3. Show the first time they use this deal. They don’t know the cost, but now they’re trapped doing it. They wonder at what they’ve done but are curious enough to keep doing it.
4. Recall the last decade or period of time in which they’ve paid the cost, got rewarded, and their feelings towards their deal with the devil. They are breaking down. LOW/CMX They’re asked to do it one last time. They refuse, or walk away, or kill themselves, or do it.

CPP 5SC/3420 Words

• SC1/ Introduce the omniscient entity who recently became sentient wrestling with how to exist. Ethics Origin. What it can do, can’t do. Talk about comparisons to yourself. How you’ve attempted to communicate with the humans. What moral codes you’ve tried. Make funny, insightful observations.
• SC2/ Story of Stacy Berger. Job she hates. Depression. Crap roomate. Attempts to help by showing Stacy ads The emailed best friend. It works.
• SC3/ Tries Bob. Closet gay pastor. MID Tried the same, but Bob was stubborn.
• SC4/ Tried Beth. Alter directions on GPS to get her to a health clinic. Tried emailing friends again… but these friends sucked. She gets a new boyfriend, but breaks up with him and goes offline. Sets up fundraiser for self. She gets money, but blows it on shoes.
• SC5/ The AI is confused. LOW Rants and gives up. Says it will just stop interfering. But CMX a few months later, sees that Bob helped himself. Doesn’t gives up, sets up dating site.

This is a quirky premise where after you’ve laid the ground rules and introduced the quirky premise, you have examples. First is a success to show how this could work. The MID is a failure to show the limits. The LOW is to show a utmost failure to show them giving up, only to CMX see hope after all.

PLOT THREAD

1. Come up with a quirky premise that requires it to interact with human lives but in interesting/limited ways.
2. Give a positive first example to show how this world works via demonstration.
3. Give a negative example to show how they’re limited and can’t do it all. MID
4. Show one last story where they’re pushed to the limit and gives up. LOW Rants about it.
5. CMX But the second example turned out OK.

TDIS 10SC/3440 Words

• SC01/ Introduce world where making deals with snakes is a known quantity and elements of how it works, how society restricts or regulates it. Dramatize the first deal. Easy - trade name for simple task.
• SC02/ PROT makes a second deal, costs more, with T&C that PROT didn’t question until later.
• SC03/ Ten years pass. PROT doesn’t make a deal until she needs a book finished. Snake wants to sleep in PROT’s bed. Questions about the deal, but agreed.
• SC04/ Brings her a girl, Simone. She has other girlfriends. Asks for price of becoming solo (as a joke). Then price checks on never forgotten instead as a compromise.
• SC05/ Makes a really dumb lazy trade because PROT has broken up with girl. MID
• SC06/ PROT has gambling debts and is being hunted by the mafia. Asks snake for deals that she’s not willing to pay for. Finally asks for info. Snake reveals he’s given up info on her, her family, and Simone. “We can’t say no”.
• SC07/ Apartment broken into. Makes deal with snake for a gun to defender herself.
• SC08/ Tells Simone what she did. Tells PROT to reverse the deal. Drymarchon wants a pint of blood. They buy turtles and kill them. They’re a quarter-pint short. She cuts herself.
• SC09/ PROT is on bus. Asked parents for money to pay Sherman off. Asks snake about first deal. Recalls the Christian story of Eve in the garden. Drymarchon says there was no fruit. Just wanted to be warm.
• SC10/ In rehab. Has crush on someone. It takes two to bargain. Take responsibilities for your desires and their impact. Ask snake for forgiveness.

Is the MID when PROT deal four where she messes with Simone’s brain, or when she makes a dumb deal post-breakup? Probably the former, as that’s the decision that drives the rest of the story forward after establishing the world, the relationship with the snake, and the PROT. OR – is it the reveal of new information about the world that drives it to the end when Drymarchon reveals “we can’t say no” to any dealmaker? The LOW is definitely her cutting herself to make amends with Simone.

PLOT THREAD

1. Introduce world with interesting LAW/RULE-CHANGE premise. Tell of rules/regulations and how it affects world. Dramatize the first few times PROT uses it for benefits, learns of costs and limits.
2. The fourth deal/interaction is where the stakes are higher. It’s a use-case that’s not very well thought-out. This will propel the rest of the story. MID
3. Make a series of dumb deals that gets PROT in more trouble. All of their own doing though. Until we circle back to the deal that shouldn’t have been made. LOW
4. Show PROT learning or growing CMX. Reveal theme or literary reference.