Climbing Up the Walls

CLIMBING UP THE WALLS

Based on and inspired by RADIOHEAD’S “OK COMPUTER”

THIRD “BUT NEVER THE FINAL” DRAFT

FADE IN: EXT. OUTSIDE NIGHT CLUB - NIGHT
A radiant blue blankets the empty streets. The club’s neon sign, “IDIOTHEQUE”, flickers weakly. Steady BASS emanates from inside.

THOM (V.O.)
I shouldn’t be here.

The steady BASS fades into loud HOUSE MUSIC.

INT. NIGHT CLUB - NIGHT
Camera begins to crane up from the floor of the club. An assortment of shoes dancing. Bodies gyrate, business cards change hands, drinks reached for. In a distant corner, two giant policemen drag a YOUNG MAN out. The young man’s loud pleas are slightly muffled by the music, but is heard.

YOUNG MAN
I didn’t sneeze! I’m healthy! I’m sanitary! I’m not sick!!!

THOM
(V.O. cont’d)
The city is a blazing bonfire and I am the damned moth.

Faces smiling flirtatiously, laughter over anecdotes. Flashing lights of various colours, the spinning disco ball. Camera cranes to the ceiling. Blackout.

INT. THOM’S SUITE - NIGHT
The bass from downstairs is muffled, but audible. The house lights are off. The blue street lights outside reveals the contents of the suite. The camera continues to crane from the last scene to the bare hardwood floor of Thom’s suite strewn with scrap sheets and crumpled paper balls. There are several cardboard boxes and stacks of books here and there. In a bed, THOM rolls about in his blanket, struggling to sleep.

THOM
(V.O. cont’d) I shouldn’t be here at all.

Blank bare walls, white washed and clean. Camera cranes to ceiling. Blackout.

INT. 49175’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Camera cranes from last scene up to an apartment that is utterly dark and silent save for the flashing red light of voicemail and the hum of the refrigerator.

Midway between floor and ceiling, the craning stops.

Focus on a green LED alarm clock. It flickers from 4:59 to 5:00. The alarm sounds. The alarm stops and a digital female voice begins to speak in the house P.A. It is the ELECTRONIC SECRETARY. NOTE: all identification numbers are spoken digit by digit. Dashes are pronounced.

ELECTRONIC SECRETARY:
Good morning 49175. How are you this morning? (pause) That’s good. Today you have lunch with D-503 at twelve forty-five, a meeting in office number 4025 at exactly sixteen-oh-oh, and dinner with R-13 at approximately eighteen…

MONTAGE (BEGINS AS VOICE BEGINS TO SPEAK): Apartment lights turn on in sequence from room to room. The fax machine prints today’s headlines. The microwave turns on. Inside, a prepared breakfast cooks. The coffee machine begins to brew. A desktop computer turns on and begins to surf the internet, announcing at intervals, “downloading”. The electronic secretary continues to ramble on as the montage stops abruptly. The camera “drop pans” at breakneck speed to Thom’s apartment.

INT. THOM’S SUITE –DAWN

Thom’s body jackknifes to a 90 degree position and screams. He jumps out of bed and rushes out the front door. Offstage, THUNDERING STOMPS up the stairs. Then LOUD KNOCKING.

INT. HALLWAY/49175’S DOORWAY -DAWN
49175’s front door SLIDES open.(Yes, like Star Trek). 49175 stares groggily at Thom. A moment of silence.

49175:
What?

THOM:
Please, could you stop the noise, I’m trying to get some rest?

49175 gapes blankly at Thom, then SLAMS(?) the door. Blackout.

OPENING CREDITS (MONTAGE)
Names appear on labels and LED displays of various products in the following montage as opening credits intro.

MONTAGE: 49175 programs the timer on his shower, steps in, steps out. He shaves with an electric razor, gels and combs his hair sleek.

He steps into his bedroom, opens the walk-in closet to reveal a long row of GUCCI SUITS, (all the same), dresses in front of the drawer mirror with a built-in television set to the news.

He heads to the kitchen, picks up the pile of paper spurted out of the fax machine, (it’s the newspaper), pours a mug of coffee, takes breakfast out of the microwave and sits down to eat and read.

He heads back to the bathroom to brush his teeth with an electric toothbrush in front of the bathroom mirror, also with news channel installed. He gargles mouth wash then heads for the front door.

At the lobby table he picks up the wallet and places it into his back pocket, the cellphone on front clip, the palm pilot in left jacket pocket, the digital watch with GPS on left wrist, the laptop under his arms.

He checks the mirror by the door, places palm on the hand print recognition lock, his right eye in the iris scanner, then stands in front of the door. In approximately three seconds, the door slides open. He exits.

INT. THOM’S BEDROOM - DAY
The hands on an old wind-up alarm clock slowly reaches two o’ clock. The internal bell rings. Thom swipes at it, knocking it across the room. Surprisingly, it survives and continues to ring. After a while, Thom stumbles to it, picks it up, turns it off, and curses it.

THOM (V.O.)
When we were younger, Woodrow would always talk about the city. The cars, the night clubs, the women. It was Mecca for the four of us.

He winds the clock and sets it at the bedside table as before.

INT. THOM’S KITCHEN - DAY
Over the kitchen sink Thom brushes his teeth with his forefinger, laps water into his mouth with his palm and spits.

THOM (V.O. cont’d)
At nineteen, Woodrow left on his pilgrimage. Then John a year after, and Marcus two years after him. (pause) The last I saw of any of them was the morning before they left.

Thom cups his hands beneath the sink and waters the plant by his kitchen window.

INT. THOM’S BEDROOM - DAY
Still in his pajamas, Thom covers his unkempt hair with a toque. He sits at his desk, winds paper into his typewriter and begins his day at work.

THOM (V.O. cont’d)
Mother never got a letter or a phone call. ‘They’re too busy’ she would excuse them. ’They grown ups now.’

The light fades to dark outside his bedroom window.

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT
49175 enters, looks at his watch. It reads 17:55. He scans the room, spots someone and walks toward the table. R-13 is dressed as impeccably as 49175. In fact, they are wearing the exact same GUCCI SUIT. IN FACT, EVERYONE in this film wears the same GUCCI SUIT but Thom.

49175
R-13, how are you? Have you ordered yet? I hear the salmon here is exquisite.

R-13
I’m good. The salmon? I shall look.

R-13 turns to a touch screen monitor next to the table and scrolls through the various items. Each dish is complimented with graphs, data and price.

INT. THOM’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
An old fashion phone (one in which you dial the numbers) rings. Thom picks it up. For audience’s sake, the voice on the other line is heard. It is Thom’s girlfriend, JULIA.

THOM
Hello?

JULIA
(flirtingly)
Hello, how was your first night in town, city boy?

THOM
Julia, it is insane here. The city does not believe in sleep.

JULIA
oh? And you won’t either tonight.

THOM
oh behave. What time will you get here?

JULIA
Eightish?

THOM
hmm… should I wait for you? (pause) Dinner, I mean.

JULIA
Don’t. I’ll grab a bite on the road, it’s a one hour drive anyhow.

THOM
OK

JULIA
Alright. I’ll see you in an hour… I love you.

THOM
I’ll be waiting, I love you too.

INT. THOM’S KITCHEN - NIGHT
Thom opens a can of soup with a manual can opener, cooks it over the stove, and sits down to eat.

THOM (V.O.)
Every bit of me tells me I should have stayed home and settled down with Julia. But I needed to find out.

A shot of the kitchen clock hands: half past seven.

INT. 49175’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

49175 enters the apartment, and in the exact reverse of the order he had worn his electronic gadgets, he takes them off. He loosens his tie. As soon as 49175 had entered the apartment, electronic secretary had begun to speak.

ELECTRONIC SECRETARY
Good evening 49175. How was your day? (pause) That’s good. Did you have a good dinner with R-13? Your choice of salmon was excellent. And if you enjoyed the salmon at 63rd avenue, you will absolutely adore…

49175
(interrupting)
Computer.

ELECTRONIC SECRETARY
Yes 49175, what can I do for you?

49175
Connect me to www.meetmarket.com and organize a search by order of blonde, brunette then Asian.

ELECTRONIC SECRETARY
And the other specifications?

49175
As usual, computer.

49175 pours himself a drink as computer works.

ELECTRONIC SECRETARY
Yes, 49175. Connecting to host www.meetmarket.com, downloading images, searching, organizing database… confirmed. Is there anything else, 49175?

49175
No, thank you.

49175 walks to his desktop computer and scrolls through the several files. Each file contains a full body rotating image of a woman with physical specifications on the sidebar. After examining each one, 49175 scrolls back to I-330, a slender and fit brunette slightly shorter than 49175. He reaches for his voice recognition headset phone and puts it on.

49175
Dial meetmarket.com

The phone dials an eleven digit number. We hear the TONES.

49175 (cont’d)
Hello, yes, I would like to rent a relief body?.. yes, the model number is I-330… The location would be the same as the phone number, yes… fifteen minutes? Yes, thank you.

INT. THOM’S SUITE/ 49175’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
FILM TECH NOTE:
Split screen scene with Thom’s suite on the left part of the screen and 49175’s apartment on the right side.

Both are “freshening up” in their bathrooms. Thom rinses his face with water. 49175 uses expensive face gel and cologne. Thom scrambles to the kitchen to check the clock, 49175 glances at the mirror TV Both read 19:59, (one hands, the other digital). A knocking occurs in Thom’s scenario while electronic secretary announces the presence of I-330 at the door in 49175’s scenario. Both rush to their front doors and opens them at the same time.

JULIA/ I-330
(excited)/ (monotone)
Hello.

FILM TECH NOTE:
The following scenes will intercut the two scenarios as the camera revolves around “the couple” in orbit. As camera rotates, the scenario will switch at each half circle. Each successful circle will spin faster than the last.(see diagram) Furthermore, while GROOVY TRIP-HOP plays in 49175’s scenario, FOLKSY LOVE SONGS play in Thom’s scenario. However, the transition of music between scenarios will be seamless as they are both the SAME SONG.

INT. THOM’S FRONT DOOR - NIGHT

Julia rushes to embrace Thom.

JULIA
Oh God, I’ve missed you! Do you miss me?

THOM
(feeling Julia’s impact)
Oh!(laughs) Yes! I’ve missed you too.

JULIA
Why did you have to move all the way out here!?

THOM
Julia,(chuckling) You’re suffocating me.

JULIA
I don’t care. I’m never letting you go.

THOM
I never went away.

INT. 49175’S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
A brief moment as 49175’s breath is taken away by I-330’s fashion model body. He regains his cool.

49175
Well, hello. Come in.

I-330 walks in, puts her purse down on the coffee table, opens it, and takes a portable DEBIT MACHINE out.

49175 (cont’d)
Wow. You’re much more beautiful in real life. Gawd, those legs.

49175 tongues his upper lip and approaches her. I-330 stops him and puts a debit machine in front of his face.

I-330
Money first.

49175
Right, right. I’ll be right back.

49175 leaves the room to retrieve his bank card. I-330 sits crossed legged on the Italian leather couch and sets up the machine.

49175 (O.S.)
Can I get you anything to drink?

I-330
Martini. Extra dry.

INT. THOM’S SUITE - NIGHT

Thom and Julia are devouring each other’s faces. Thom reaches behind Julia’s back to shut the door. Thom holds Julia back for a moment.

THOM
(sarcastically courteous)
I’m sorry, did you want anything to drink?

JULIA
You.

Julia smothers Thom with her mouth while pushing him in the direction of the bedroom and stripping his shirt off.

INT. 49175’S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
49175 swipes his bank card and presses a few buttons on the debit machine to confirm his purchase. The machine responds, “approved”. 49175 puts the machine down and looks at I-330.

49175
Are you ready?

I-330 stands up with martini in hand, kicks off her heels, swallows the martini in one gulp, and in one elegant gesture unbuttons something on her back that divests her of the evening gown.

I-330
Yes. Let’s go.

INT. THOM’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Julia is on top of Thom in bed. Both are topless. They are petting (and panting) heavily. Julia stops to look deep in to Thom’s eyes.

JULIA
Do you love me, Thom?

THOM
Yes, Julia, I love you more than words can wield the matter.

JULIA
um, yeah… I love you too.

Julia reaches down to unzip Thom’s pants.

INT. 49175’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
49175 is on top of I-330, missionary position. 49175 is panting. I-330 is articulating an orgasm. Badly.

I-330
yeah. yeah. yeah. give it to me.

INT. THOM’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Julia is straddling Thom.

JULIA
(moaning)
Thom, oh god, THOM!

THOM
Julia…

INT. 49175’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
As before. A phone rings. I-330 reaches for it and presses the ‘TALK’ button.

I-330
Hello?

I-330 looks at 49175. He has stopped, afraid to interrupt.

I-330 (cont’d)
Don’t stop. Keep going. (to phone) yes.

INT. THOM’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Thom groaning, Julia moaning, both climaxing.

INT. 49175’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

As before, 49175 working it, I-330 on phone.

I-330
one nine eight four, orwell street? Be there in twenty.

I-330 eyes 49175.

I-330
You done?

49175
(exasperated)
Yes.

FILM TECH NOTE:
The circling camera stops here. Music fades out.

INT. 49175’S APARTMENT - DAWN
MONTAGE: A slimmed down, ten second version of the opening credits sequence.

INT. THOM’S BEDROOM - DAY
Thom wakes up to see Julia dressing and getting ready to go.

THOM
Don’t go.

JULIA
I have to.

THOM
I should die without you.

JULIA
Then come home.

THOM
I can’t.

JULIA
Why not?

THOM
You know why.

JULIA
What, did you expect to bump into the three of them walking down the street? Figure out why they never called, or wrote, and then maybe even convince them to come home and apologize?! What, Thom?

THOM
Julia…

JULIA
Come home Thom.

THOM
(distant)
I was playing in my backyard one time when I was six, and there was this huge rock in the middle of mother’s garden, everything in its right place. I walked over to it and lifted the rock away and underneath was this huge colony of bugs, climbing all over each other.

JULIA
You’re a cat.

THOM
(ignoring Julia’s comment)
It was a seedy underbelly hiding beneath this stone façade, and I exposed it. I had revealed it for the sun to see.

INT. THOM’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Thom stops typing and looks out his window. Occasionally

THOM (V.O.)
Woodrow and John? Maybe. But Marcus? Never. Marcus was mother’s favorite. Him not calling broke her heart. By my nineteenth birthday, mom was simply indifferent. In her eyes, her three sons were dead, and I was heading into an early grave.

He looks at the alarm clock. It reads eight o’ clock. He picks up a manuscript, tucks it under his shirt.

THOM (V.O. cont’d)
In a way, she was absolutely right.

He puts on his toque and heads for the front door.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

MONTAGE: Tram lines stopping and going, car traffic in heavy rotation at crossroads, city lights blinking and signaling. The city is efficient and sanitary. There are no signs of homeless people, litter or pollution.

THOM (V.O.)
The city is no longer a childhood Mecca. My brothers made their pilgrimage so they could work for the city.

A man yawns, and two policemen appear out of nowhere. They drag him away.

THOM (V.O. cont’d)
I came here to criticize it, to write against it… maybe save a few lost souls along the way, or ward off would be family deserters.

Thom walks the streets. Everyone is wearing a GUCCI SUIT. Thom gets looks. Vendors are reluctant to speak with him.

THOM (V.O. cont’d)
Idealistic? Sure. Did I know what I was getting into? No. Was hiring a private investigator from the city entirely smart? I doubt it. Did I care? Nope.

EXT. DRY CLEANERS - NIGHT

FILM TECH NOTE:
This scene will be shot from a surveillance camera until DT-09 jams it. After that, usual camera methods are used.

Coin operated dry cleaners fill the compact room. Two GUCCI suits bump into Thom without apologizing as Thom enters. An elderly man, DT-09 stands alone in front of a dry cleaning machine, waiting. Thom hesitates before approaching him. He stands beside him both watching the machine.

THOM
I hear AP-13’s stocks went down six points.

DT-09
I sold my AP-13 investments two weeks ago. I invest in BR-37 now.

THOM
BR-37? Good investment.

DT-09 scans the entire room. It is empty. He takes out his palm pilot and quickly taps the screen with the touch screen pen. Close up of screen indicates that “Surveillance jammed” with a thirty second clock counting down beneath the message. DT-09 turns to Thom.

DT-09
What the hell do you think you’re doing? Have you seen yourself in the mirror?

Thom looks flabbergasted. The machine stops. DT-09 takes a suit out.

DT-09 (cont’d)
Take this. And never talk to me ever again until you’re in one of these. (pause) Now, did you bring the information?

Thom reaches inside his shirt to pull out the manila envelope and hands it to DT-09. DT-09 slips it inside his jacket. He takes out the rest of his laundry and starts to leave.

THOM
(hesitantly)
Wait, who are you?

DT-09
(turning around)
Like you, I’m here to lift seemingly benign rocks.

EXT. OUTSIDE THOM’S APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
Thom is rushing down the street towards his apartment building. The streets are strangely empty. He sees a familiar wooden bed, wind-up clock and telephone among a pile of books at the street corner.

THOM
Fuck?

Thom speed walks to the apartment’s front entrance and attempts the hand print recognition lock and iris scanner. The machine responds with “access denied”. Thom knocks madly on the door. It slides open. It is the landlord.

LANDLORD
Yes?

THOM
What’s going on?

LANDLORD
What’s going on?

THOM
My furniture, my access, what the hell?

LANDLORD
Oh yes… I recognize you now. The boy from 2B that doesn’t even have a proper PIN. (pauses) Your rent was up fifty-five minutes and twenty three seconds ago. (looks at watch) twenty four, twenty five, twenty six…

THOM
What?

LANDLORD
Your rent. Up. Not paid. Due.

THOM
(interrupting the human thesaurus)
Why can’t I pay you now??

LANDLORD
The suite’s no longer vacant.

THOM
THE FUCK?!

LANDLORD
Not vacant, occupied, rented out.

THOM
It’s nine fifty-five on a Sunday night! What the hell? Let me in!

LANDLORD
Nine fifty-nine, to be precise. I suggest you find somewhere indoors before the police come.

The landlord closes the door. In an abrupt sudden, all the city lights turn off and a chime is heard around the city. Down the street, two hovering crafts with roving spotlights patrol the streets. Their beams locate Thom.

THOM
Shit.

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - NIGHT

The room is fairly dark save for a beam of light pointed directly in to Thom’s eyes. Thom is sitting on a metal chair as two men pace the room. They are INTERROGATOR #1 and INTERROGATOR #2.

INT. BEHIND MIRROR WINDOW ROOM - NIGHT
DT-09 and a MYSTERIOUS MAN watches through a mirror/window. Laid out on the desk before DT-09 is the contents of Thom’s folder. There are detailed profiles on Thom’s older brothers.

MYSTERIOUS MAN
Is that the right man?

DT-09
That’s him. That’s the last one of the family. We have all four now.

MYSTERIOUS MAN
I hear he has intentions different from his brothers… dreams more “creative”, if you will.

DT-09
We’ll break him. We always do.

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - NIGHT
In a surreal moment, both interrogators turn to face Thom. The following dialogue is fast paced and rhythmic.

INTERROGATOR #1
What’s your number?

INTERROGATOR #2
Yeah, what’s your number?

THOM
(stutters)
I don’t have one.

INTERROGATOR #1
(amazed)
You don’t have a number?

THOM
No.

INTERROGATOR #1
He doesn’t have a number. You hear that? No number.

INTERROGATOR #2
He doesn’t have a number?

INTERROGATOR #1
He doesn’t have a number.

INTERROGATOR #2
He isn’t registered then?

INTERROGATOR #1
Indubitably.

INTERROGATOR #2
No number. No identification.

THOM
(pleading)
I have a name.

INTERROGATOR #1
(repulsed)
A name? You have a name???

INTERROGATOR #2
He has a name?

THOM
My name is Thom K.

INTERROGATOR #1
Thom? THOM?!

INTERROGATOR #2
How absurd.

INTERROGATOR #1
Archaic.

INTERROGATOR #2
Ancient.

INTERROGATOR #1
A name. Of all things. How did you come by such a notion?

THOM
(confused)
What?

INTERROGATOR #1
Your “name”. Who gave you your… ”name”?

THOM
My mother. Who else?

INTERROGATOR #1
(shocked)
Your mother?! You hear that? A mother!

INTERROGATOR #2
Impossible.

INTERROGATOR #1
I don’t believe it.

INTERROGATOR #2
He must be inebriated.

INTERROGATOR #1
Insane.

INTERROGATOR #2
Irrational.

INTERROGATOR #1
A mother. Of all things.

INTERROGATOR #2
(to Interrogator #1)
Ask him why he’s out past the curfew.

INTERROGATOR #1
(to Thom)
Why are you out past your curfew?

INTERROGATOR #2
Why ARE you out past your curfew?

THOM
My landlord kicked me out.

INTERROGATOR #1
(screaming)
KICKED OUT?!

INTERROGATOR #2
He got kicked out?

INTERROGATOR #1
YOU WERE KICKED OUT?!

INTERROGATOR #2
Doesn’t he have a job?

INTERROGATOR #1
DON’T YOU HAVE A JOB?!

THOM
I am a writer.

INTERROGATOR #1
A WRITER?! (throwing things)

INTERROGATOR #2
He’s a writer?

INTERROGATOR #1
A writer? In the city? Impossible.

INTERROGATOR #2
Unidentified.

INTERROGATOR #1
Unregistered.

INTERROGATOR #2
Unemployed.

INTERROGATOR #1
A writer named Thom.

INTERROGATOR #2
Unbelievable.

INT. BEHIND MIRROR WINDOW ROOM - NIGHT
As before.

MYSTERIOUS MAN
A writer?

DT-09
Yes.

MYSTERIOUS MAN
Of what?

DT-09
Nothing particularly upsetting. Dabbling in the defunct art of poetry, some illegal fiction and plenty of shoddy journalism. He had intentions of “exposing” us.

The idea of being discovered triggers a cold, yet believable chuckle in Mysterious Man.

MYSTERIOUS MAN
Kids these days.

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - NIGHT
The door to the room opens, a shaft of light pours in. A man similar to the two interrogators walk in. He hands Interrogator #1 a folder. The man walks out. The room is dark again.

THOM
(angry and panicking)
What’s going on? What are you looking at?

INTERROGATOR #1
He’s asking what we’re looking at.

INTERROGATOR #2
He’s asking what we’re looking at?

INTERROGATOR #1
He’s asking what we’re looking at.

INTERROGATOR #2
Amazing. He doesn’t know.

INTERROGATOR #1
He doesn’t know.

INTERROGATOR #2
(reads from the folder)
A wooden bed, a wind-up clock, a dialing phone, books?! and a typewriter?

INTERROGATOR #1
A typewriter? A TYPEWRITER?! A TYPEWRITER?!

INTERROGATOR #2
A typewriter.

INTERROGATOR #1
Impossible.

INTERROGATOR #2
What’s this?

INTERROGATOR #1
What’s what?

INTERROGATOR #2
This.

Interrogator #2 hands folder over to Interrogator #1.

INTERROGATOR #1
I don’t believe it.

INTERROGATOR #2
Unbelievable.

INTERROGATOR #1
(reads)
A girlfriend, in love with.

INTERROGATOR #2
In love. Insane. Incredible.

INTERROGATOR #1
Love. Love? Love?! You believe in love???

THOM
(shaking)
Yes?

INTERROGATOR #1
He believes in love! You hear that?! LOVE!

INTERROGATOR #2
He believes in love?

INTERROGATOR #1
He believes in love.

INTERROGATOR #2
Childish

INTERROGATOR #1
Naive.

INTERROGATOR #2
Immature.

INTERROGATOR #1
Love. Of all things.

THOM
Listen, I have no idea what this is getting at, but whatever punishment there is, let’s just get it over with.

Both interrogators laugh uproariously.

INTERROGATOR #1
Punishment?

INTERROGATOR #2
Did he say punishment?

INTERROGATOR #1
He said punishment.

The two laugh at the absurdity once again.

INTERROGATOR #2
Child.

INTERROGATOR #1
Toddler.

INTERROGATOR #2
Baby.

INTERROGATOR #1
Punishment. Of all things.

INTERROGATOR #2
What shall we do with him?

INTERROGATOR #1
What shall we do with him?

INTERROGATOR #2
What shall we do with him?

INTERROGATOR #1
There’s only one thing we can do with him, I’m afraid.

INTERROGATOR #2
I see.

INTERROGATOR #1
You see?

INTERROGATOR #2
I see.

INTERROGATOR #1
Program F-451.

INTERROGATOR #2
Program F-451.

INTERROGATOR #1
Indubitably.

INTERROGATOR #2
Inevitably.

INTERROGATOR #1
Ineluctably.

THOM
(confused)
What?

INT. APARTMENT - DAY

MONTAGE: A sequence of images riffing on the opening credits sequence but with close up shots of the hands and feet only, never the face. When the character in question checks his face in the mirror by the front door, we realize it is Thom. His apartment is now “Ikeaized”. His appearance is immaculate, his suit a GUCCI suit. The phone RINGS just before he exits. He turns around to put on the HEADSET.

THOM
Hello?

JULIA
(sobbing)
Thom? Thom, is that really you? They told me you died in a car accident. I didn’t believe them. Thom I’ve…

THOM
(interrupts)
I’m sorry, you must have the wrong number. There is no Thom here. Only 36732.

Thom hangs up. He walks out the door.

INT. ELEVATOR - DAY
Thom enters the lift. 49175 is standing inside, Thom stands beside him. Their similarity is striking.

49175
Good morning 36732, how are you this morning?

THOM
Good, 49175. And how are you this morning?

49175
I’m good. A few drinks after work?

THOM
No need to ask, 49175.

FADE OUT

THE END